Study finds, Paris Hilton’s dog leads a life way better than 98% of the human population

Before you read: This post, written by me only, was originally published at/by News That Matters Not

Los Angeles: 

UFO (Unidentified Fraud Organization), numero uno in releasing the silliest survey results of the world, have found in their latest survey, that Tinkerbell, Paris Hilton’s chihuahua dog is not only the luckiest among dogs and animals across the globe, but is also leading a life way better than at least 98% of human population.

Justifying its results, UFO presented a detailed report comparing a common human’s life with that of Tinkerbell. They spent all their resources and time studying the daily life of Tinkerbell and compared the fetched data with the corresponding data for ordinary human beings, as released by the other minor organizations like WHO, World Bank, UNICEF, etc.

One of the interesting results was that while more than 1.5 billion people all over the world live in extreme poverty, with barely hands-in-mouth existence, Tinkerbell alone gets beauty treatments including spa, branded make-up kits and make-up artists (especially when she has to attend a red-carpet event with Miss Hilton), all worth more than $5000 every day, on an average. Another result states that while no less than 4000 people die every hour in the world due to extreme malnutrition, Tinkerbell gets to choose from more than 4000 different flavours of dog food for every meal.

The star dog Tinkerbell with her little-known owner Paris Hilton

When we tried to contact Paris Hilton for her comments, her representative denied us access citing health issues with the hotel heiress. He said that the dumb lady would faint on hearing all these survey data as her brain is not accustomed to knowing or thinking about anything other than boyfriends, cosmetics, surgeries, Tinkerbell, her lavish lifestyle to be taken care of, etc.

We also tried to reach The Tinkerbell herself but we were told by her personal secretary and media representatives that she is being prepared by special artists, called especially from Paris so that Tinkerbell ADORNS Paris Hilton well as she carries this favorite accessory of hers in her hands to an entirely unimportant fashion event in Timbuktu. An inside source revealed that Paris Hilton is spending $ 5400 for two hours of this grooming session. At the time of reporting, Tinkerbell was out with her multiple dog-friends (human equivalent being ‘boyfriends’ ) in her private limousine.

NTMN astrologer Pandit Bhavishya Anjaan predicts that at least 90% of the people on Earth, including many minor celebs will now start enchanting spells and adopting astrological techniques to pray to be Tinkerbell in their next life, since its now clear that 98% of us are worse than a dog.

If you don’t believe that Tinkerbell is more famous than Paris Hilton, try searching them on Google. Google doesn’t suggest “Paris Hilton” even after you have typed till “Paris Hil…”!! People search for her dog more than herself.

BY,

FOR,

News That Matters Not