A letter to Santa

 Dear Santa, 


you know it very well, I never believed in you as a kid, 'coz there was nothing I wanted to ask you for, so happy was I with all things tiny, small, big or say, slightly bigger in life.


If I couldn't get my favorite ice-cream, I relished a cheaper one with equal, rather even more, excitement and pleasure, valuing the fact that atleast I got what I love the most: an ice cream.

I wore what I loved to (the bright and happy colors, the cartoons, the fairy-dresses...anything) or rather, what my loved ones wanted to see me in. The terms "fashion" or "style" never existed in my dictionary and what others would say or think, never mattered.


I was happy with all the people around, their negatives never troubled me, 'coz as a matter of fact, I never saw any. All the things, all the people seemed nice, pleasant souls. No one looked fake, probably 'coz no one was or maybe 'coz my innocent eyes were blind to anything bad, back then.


Everyone was a friend. Even if someone fought, a patch-up was the next step by default. So pure our hearts were, so forgiving, so kind: so god-like. 


...and so so many other things. It was such a nice life. Such a happy life, 'coz happiness used to be so cheap, so readily available: in an ice cream, in a new dress, in mumma's stories or papa's hugs, in a new toy (no matter how cheap it might be) or simply, in a smile! And that too, a smile that had nothing unpleasant veiled under it. 
It was everywhere, happiness was everywhere. 


Actually, life wasn't as happy, as my little eyes saw it to be.
How? 'Coz I was innocent and my pure heart never allowed me to be dissatisfied with life.

Whatever I had was good enough and even if I wanted something, my parents' assurance that they'll get it for me was just enough! I trusted them and they trusted my trust.
So I never believed in you, 'coz I had no reason to !!


***


But life's different now, or I have made it so, okay, knowingly or unknowingly. Today, there is no count of the things I'd want to ask you for and the funniest part is, I still won't be happy. Not as happy as I used to be, then.


I've grown up from being a kid. Grown up in age, in height, in IQ but unfortunately, not in innocence, not in contentment, not in happiness. While I grew up, my innocence kept dying and I became meaner, greedier and more and more dissatisfied, always wanting more and more and more...!


So this Christmas, condemning what my common sense suggests, the grown up me WANTS to believe in you, as a last hope.


And as I CHOOSE to believe in you now, I want you to ask for: peace, in my heart, my mind, my life and my world. 
So that, I can be happy with whatever I have.
And so that, I don't have to ask you for anything more.


Will you fulfill my first wish for you, Santa?
Please?


Or shall I keep a note asking for the same under my pillow, tonight? :)

In anticipation, with love
Sugandha