Inspiration kills

There couldn't have been a more negative statement about the concept of 'inspiration' than the one that constitutes the title of this particular post (Yes, the summary of my first year has been sidelined for now). And I am well aware of that. But it holds true, for me at least.
During my long hours of loitering in the virtual world, I come across so many blogs, so many websites, so many 'endeavors', actually. I am fascinated by the number of people going great guns, when it comes to their lives and dreams. Sure, such people inspire me, inspire many, actually. But to be honest, this inspiration kills me from within and I better admit that by now.
There are a plethora of stories that I, like anyone else, have heard all through my life, about people who took that one step in their life, which left no stone unturned in changing it from just a "life" to a "life that's one of a kind", of course, with loads of effort. Those are the stories that we hear, of people, some extra-ordinary and some, ordinary-turned-extra ordinary. What is that one 'step'? It's an idea!! Now that's what you call...an idea that changes life (this ain't original, I know) and that idea followed by some action.

And then I get inspired. "Wow! Now that is something!", "I wish I could think something like that!", "I also should make some worthy use of my talents!" and so on. And hence, inspiration begins. Begins its job, of killing me within.
You know why? Of course you don't.
Because it's easy to get inspired. But it's more difficult to get motivated. And it's even more difficult, to get GOING!


As I try to figure out, perhaps, those are the three primary steps in the ladder to success - inspiration, motivation and then getting going, getting into action, I mean.
THAT is the root of the problem you see, inspiration without any action kills. And it kills bad.
Like many other people, those moments of "Now I HAVE to do something! Something BIG!" come to me too. The sad part is, they go away in no time, leaving me behind, regretting, wondering and blank. I know there are some talents that I too have been blessed with, I know that given the right direction, there is something worthy that I too can make, but, what? and more importantly, how? What is that right direction? And obviously no one would come over to show me my direction, it's me who has to find it!


So you see, the graph of my motivation is as zig-zag, as it can get. And I hate it! I hate it no end! You know what I'll prefer? I'll rather want to not get inspired at all and continue being the way I am than get inspired, all pumped up and then go fushhh in no time. Nothing can be as good as that at making you feel like a loser like. And knowing it, realizing it, understanding the need of a whole hearted effort to overcome it and yet, continuing with it, all this is plain PATHETIC!


That is how, inspiration kills. Don't dare to term it jealousy, not even inferiority complex. It's just one of the lows. We all have lows, mood swings, right? Like what I had till a while ago and by the end of this post, it seems to have seeped in.

Mom always says, if you want to do something, don't look for support. Have the guts to go with it so confidently, that people come to you for support.
How true, isn't it? What if you have an idea but you go around looking for support so that you can execute that idea. But soon enough, you find that it's too late. As you were busy looking for an external support, somebody took away that sole 'internal' support from you, that is, your idea! All that was needed to make it work was execution and someone else did it. No crying foul now!
Everything was in your hands, till it slipped away coz of your lack of motivation and yes, confidence. And as I always believe, no idea is extra ordinary. It's only the right execution, that can make it so.


What I feel is that, every individual, no matter how lazy, no matter how laid back, experiences that one powerful 'push' in his life, the most motivating one.
And you know what, it doesn't come from behind. It comes from, within!!
And I, for that matter, am eagerly waiting for that one push. The push that will work against gravity and throw me up from low to high, from nowhere to somewhere.


Till then, inspiration will continue, continue to kill me, from within.