The love maybe lost, but its memories are not — PART 1
"Bin tere... bin tere... bin tere... koi khalish hai hawaon mein bin tere... "
the tune beat on her eardrums—once, twice, thrice and more.
Not that she was fast asleep. But that she hadn't slept. And she felt like hearing it on and on, again and again. In her mind flipping pages of the sweetest yet the most hurting set of memories.
An alarm tune — what is it supposed to do? Wake you up from sleep?
But for eyes that haven't seen peaceful sleep since long, for ears that still yearn to hear those whispers that would send shivers down the spine, for senses that fail to let go of that aura of pure love that would once make her feel luckier and prettier every single day, this alarm was nothing more than a fresh revival of memories she 'should' let go off, but couldn't. Just couldn't. She could relate to it more than anything else and it was painful. Very painful. Which is why it was her morning alarm tune. Sad songs, the more you can relate with them, the more they remind you of your pain, bringing every bit of your soul to tears. Yet, you love them even more. It was the first thing she did in the day. And this way, pain was what her days had been starting with. For the last one year.
Yes, one year. It has been a year now. And she still clings to those memories as tightly as possible. Like she won't let them go. Never. The jokes they shared, the fun they poked, the care and the affection, the times she would sulk and he would play the joker, all of it had re-played in front of her eyes every single morning. She laughed. And she cried. She laughed on all that had been so dream-like beautiful. She cried 'coz it was indeed all dreams now.
Those were her mornings. Mornings after half sleepless nights, the rest half trying to relive those moments. The best thing about dreams is that they can give you joys you otherwise may only yearn for, in real.
And this morning was no different. Yet again she had woken up to what reminded her how hurt she was. Yet again she had imagined those magical moments that still remain the happiest moments of her life, but a thing of past. Yet again she had woken up to sit still, stunned, still unable to believe, what happened did actually happen. Yet again she had asked her god, "WHY?"
Yet again she had wondered in absolute awe, "I am stuck. He has moved on. How?"
By,
Labels:
love,
memories,
Romance,
Stories,
teenage stuff
Why I'm perfect, because I'm imperfect.
I am not perfect and I have no qualms about it.
At least it provides me a goal in life- to become perfect.
Says,
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
At least it provides me a goal in life- to become perfect.
Says,
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
Labels:
philosophical,
Quotes
Let the loved know, how much they are loved.
"You used to share every little thing about your life with me, Khushi. But ever since you entered college, you seem to have got so easily detached from your home and family. And me."
"Oh come on mummy! It's all a part of growing up, of becoming independent. Don't we all change with progress in life? I can't stay a kid forever, can I?"
"You'll remain a kid for me always, Khushi beta. Even when you become a granny."
"Yeah I know that mum. And please don't say that I've got detached from you all. You can see for yourself, college life isn't like school life. I get back home pretty late. And then... "
"And then, you either sleep or switch on the computer, and sit there in your room till dinner time when I have to call out to you a hundred times, Khushi, have your food!... Khushi have your food! right?"
"Oh please! Don't start it all over again. I am fed up. Good night!!" Khushi muttered her last words, abruptly ending the argument, that had occurred the nth time since the advent of her college life, and with that, banged close the door of her room quite loud. Real loud.
"I'm fed up too. But you don't seem to be able to understand..." mom heaved a deep sigh, not of relief, but of exhaustion. Of worry.
"I don't know how to explain it to her! Everyone gets busy with their own lives in college, how am I being any different! Not that it means I don't love my family anymore. Huh!!" she grumbled in frustration, while setting her blanket right, preparing to doze off, bringing the hectic day to an end, quite early today. Since the internet wasn't working.
Mom sure wasn't completely wrong.
(Lights off.
Blanket on.
Silence.
Good night.)
________________________________________
**************************************************
"Finally gonna be home early today! Gonna make mom happy. Yay! Will make her some tea, chat with her for a while. And only then get back to the regular. Hehehe... sounds good. Hmmm," Khushi thought to herself, sitting in the wrecked-up DTC bus that was going to drop her home earlier than the usual today. Mass bunks help, don't they? There were going to be no bitter arguments today. No complaints.
"Darn! The door's locked. So she's out. Umm... never mind, I'll keep the tea and snack ready and then when she comes, 'surprise'!" Khushi smiled in her thoughts, as she unlocked the doors to enter the empty house.
Everything was falling in place as planned. She tidied up the place a little bit. A cup of tea, with a lid over it to keep it hot for as long as possible, along with some snack, was waiting on the table for mom. And so was Khushi.
Love is all about little surprises, some smiles and lots of warmth and care. And for a child, a son or a daughter, nothing beats the sense of pride and the glint of extreme happiness that he or she gets, on seeing his/her mother smiling. Smiling, 'coz of something they did for her.
A child's surprise, innocent.
Rare, but full of care.
Backed by the desire to be 'THE BEST' daughter or son—unaware, that for a mother her child will always be the best. Better than the rest of the world.
It was a daughter's emotions that were keeping her spirits so pumped up for such a small thing.
Nevertheless, she waited.
And she waited.
Waited some more.
And fell asleep. On the table itself, with her head gently resting on the back of her palms.
Every second of a wait for someone loved seems to last a lifetime—the worst test of one's patience, but the best test for love. 'Coz the heart still knows, one glance of the person is worth the apparently infinite longing. In the end, it's love which will make it all seem so finite.
Khushi woke up to loud irking rings of the telephone. Getting up from the table, as she gently rubbed her eyes, the wall clock came into sight. It was 12 A.M, and mom definitely still wasn't there. The tea lay there, untouched, now turned poison. The snack, cold and un-eatable. But obviously the question was, "Still not home, is mom okay?!"
"Hello?"
"Yeah, this is her daughter. May I know who am I talking to?"
"WHAT! look, whoever you are, this is no joke! God will punish you for this!!" some more shouts, howls, cries and questions later, the phone receiver lay hanging by the table.
And Khushi—expressionless, clueless, sat on the floor. Crouched in one corner. Her hands covering her mouth, left open in disbelief. Slightly shivering.
She was lost.
She had lost herself.
She had lost the one the tea and snack had turned cold while waiting for.
She had lost her mother.
She had lost... her world.
Pages of her memories flipped over again and again—deepening wounds that had come up suddenly, from nowhere, marring her soul, scarring her life.
Scenes from the past were passing by with the speed of light, in front of her bewildered eyes.
The hug that had always welcomed her at the door, on coming back from school.
And the questioning eyes that would stare so badly if she got late.
The worried scoldings when she had scored her lowest ever, in Maths, in 6th standard.
And the sense of pride that gleamed bright, on seeing the trophies Khushi had been awarded, for topping in the board exams in her school, both the times.
The tears that had rolled by day and night, as she lay in one room of the house, isolated—suffering from the worst form of Chicken Pox, worried for her present and her future.
And the NO JUNK FOOD instructions.
The unasked-for homemade remedies and tips on how to look prettier.
And the 'pay more attention to studies, than fashion!' lectures.
The anger. And the hugs.
The kisses. And the tears.
The care. And the worries.
The lectures. And the stories.
How many such instances could she dig out from heaps of dusted, faded memories, that she had never cared for, before?
How could she find out the weight of her mother's love, NOW, that she was no longer there with her?
How could she thank god for giving her the most priceless possession of her life, when she no longer possessed it?
Questions came flooding. Answers were nowhere to be seen.
Tears wash away fears, and sorrows. But an eternal loss is eternal. It cannot be washed away. There is only a finite level of despair that can make us cry. Beyond it, there's stark loneliness, grief. And no tears. Yeah, she couldn't cry more.
___________________________________
*************************************************
Baffled, she woke up with near teary eyes and a gravely tense look. The blanket went flying off to the floor and Khushi ran for her life, till she was standing besides her mother in her room, offering countless prayers of gratefulness to the almighty. Her eyes refused to look elsewhere, they were searching for an assurance which only that calm face could offer.
"I love you mom," Khushi whispered. Old eyes do not sleep the sleep of a baby. Mom woke up and was about to raise her questions, but Khushi interrupted.
"Mom, can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Of course baby, come. But what happened, you woke up to some nightmare?"
"I love you mummy. You mean the world to me. Please never leave me alone. Never ever," Khushi murmured with almost teary, closed eyes and a pale smile.
"No my child, I won't leave you ever. You are my world beta!" She was puzzled, but still knew, all that her daughter needed then was assurance. And the sudden splurge of love had only heartened her more.
"You know baby, you're such a kid. An innocent kid."
"I'll always be so for you mommy. Even when I become a granny".
She grinned naughtily and slept the most peaceful sleep, in the world's safest place.
- Her mother's arms.
PS- Love is a feeling, an emotion. Expressing it won't add anything to it, nor would not expressing it take anything from it. But, no one is going to stay with us forever. So leave no chance to tell the ones you love, how much you value them. Time waits for none, you being no exception. So love the loved as much as you can, lest you have to repent later. For even as we continue to pray for some-ONE, some others continue to care for us, ignored yet uncomplaining.
It takes just a few words, a hug, a kiss or a simple gesture to show to someone priceless, their value in your life. Love is simple and priceless. You just need to love it.
-Dedicated to the one I love the most. The person who is easiest to make happy. A hug is all that it takes. :)
By,
"Oh come on mummy! It's all a part of growing up, of becoming independent. Don't we all change with progress in life? I can't stay a kid forever, can I?"
"You'll remain a kid for me always, Khushi beta. Even when you become a granny."
"Yeah I know that mum. And please don't say that I've got detached from you all. You can see for yourself, college life isn't like school life. I get back home pretty late. And then... "
"And then, you either sleep or switch on the computer, and sit there in your room till dinner time when I have to call out to you a hundred times, Khushi, have your food!... Khushi have your food! right?"
"Oh please! Don't start it all over again. I am fed up. Good night!!" Khushi muttered her last words, abruptly ending the argument, that had occurred the nth time since the advent of her college life, and with that, banged close the door of her room quite loud. Real loud.
"I'm fed up too. But you don't seem to be able to understand..." mom heaved a deep sigh, not of relief, but of exhaustion. Of worry.
"I don't know how to explain it to her! Everyone gets busy with their own lives in college, how am I being any different! Not that it means I don't love my family anymore. Huh!!" she grumbled in frustration, while setting her blanket right, preparing to doze off, bringing the hectic day to an end, quite early today. Since the internet wasn't working.
Mom sure wasn't completely wrong.
(Lights off.
Blanket on.
Silence.
Good night.)
________________________________________
**************************************************
"Finally gonna be home early today! Gonna make mom happy. Yay! Will make her some tea, chat with her for a while. And only then get back to the regular. Hehehe... sounds good. Hmmm," Khushi thought to herself, sitting in the wrecked-up DTC bus that was going to drop her home earlier than the usual today. Mass bunks help, don't they? There were going to be no bitter arguments today. No complaints.
"Darn! The door's locked. So she's out. Umm... never mind, I'll keep the tea and snack ready and then when she comes, 'surprise'!" Khushi smiled in her thoughts, as she unlocked the doors to enter the empty house.
Everything was falling in place as planned. She tidied up the place a little bit. A cup of tea, with a lid over it to keep it hot for as long as possible, along with some snack, was waiting on the table for mom. And so was Khushi.
Love is all about little surprises, some smiles and lots of warmth and care. And for a child, a son or a daughter, nothing beats the sense of pride and the glint of extreme happiness that he or she gets, on seeing his/her mother smiling. Smiling, 'coz of something they did for her.
A child's surprise, innocent.
Rare, but full of care.
Backed by the desire to be 'THE BEST' daughter or son—unaware, that for a mother her child will always be the best. Better than the rest of the world.
It was a daughter's emotions that were keeping her spirits so pumped up for such a small thing.
Nevertheless, she waited.
And she waited.
Waited some more.
And fell asleep. On the table itself, with her head gently resting on the back of her palms.
Every second of a wait for someone loved seems to last a lifetime—the worst test of one's patience, but the best test for love. 'Coz the heart still knows, one glance of the person is worth the apparently infinite longing. In the end, it's love which will make it all seem so finite.
Khushi woke up to loud irking rings of the telephone. Getting up from the table, as she gently rubbed her eyes, the wall clock came into sight. It was 12 A.M, and mom definitely still wasn't there. The tea lay there, untouched, now turned poison. The snack, cold and un-eatable. But obviously the question was, "Still not home, is mom okay?!"
"Hello?"
"Yeah, this is her daughter. May I know who am I talking to?"
"WHAT! look, whoever you are, this is no joke! God will punish you for this!!" some more shouts, howls, cries and questions later, the phone receiver lay hanging by the table.
And Khushi—expressionless, clueless, sat on the floor. Crouched in one corner. Her hands covering her mouth, left open in disbelief. Slightly shivering.
She was lost.
She had lost herself.
She had lost the one the tea and snack had turned cold while waiting for.
She had lost her mother.
She had lost... her world.
Pages of her memories flipped over again and again—deepening wounds that had come up suddenly, from nowhere, marring her soul, scarring her life.
Scenes from the past were passing by with the speed of light, in front of her bewildered eyes.
The hug that had always welcomed her at the door, on coming back from school.
And the questioning eyes that would stare so badly if she got late.
The worried scoldings when she had scored her lowest ever, in Maths, in 6th standard.
And the sense of pride that gleamed bright, on seeing the trophies Khushi had been awarded, for topping in the board exams in her school, both the times.
The tears that had rolled by day and night, as she lay in one room of the house, isolated—suffering from the worst form of Chicken Pox, worried for her present and her future.
And the NO JUNK FOOD instructions.
The unasked-for homemade remedies and tips on how to look prettier.
And the 'pay more attention to studies, than fashion!' lectures.
The anger. And the hugs.
The kisses. And the tears.
The care. And the worries.
The lectures. And the stories.
How many such instances could she dig out from heaps of dusted, faded memories, that she had never cared for, before?
How could she find out the weight of her mother's love, NOW, that she was no longer there with her?
How could she thank god for giving her the most priceless possession of her life, when she no longer possessed it?
Questions came flooding. Answers were nowhere to be seen.
Tears wash away fears, and sorrows. But an eternal loss is eternal. It cannot be washed away. There is only a finite level of despair that can make us cry. Beyond it, there's stark loneliness, grief. And no tears. Yeah, she couldn't cry more.
___________________________________
*************************************************
Baffled, she woke up with near teary eyes and a gravely tense look. The blanket went flying off to the floor and Khushi ran for her life, till she was standing besides her mother in her room, offering countless prayers of gratefulness to the almighty. Her eyes refused to look elsewhere, they were searching for an assurance which only that calm face could offer.
"I love you mom," Khushi whispered. Old eyes do not sleep the sleep of a baby. Mom woke up and was about to raise her questions, but Khushi interrupted.
"Mom, can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Of course baby, come. But what happened, you woke up to some nightmare?"
"I love you mummy. You mean the world to me. Please never leave me alone. Never ever," Khushi murmured with almost teary, closed eyes and a pale smile.
"No my child, I won't leave you ever. You are my world beta!" She was puzzled, but still knew, all that her daughter needed then was assurance. And the sudden splurge of love had only heartened her more.
"You know baby, you're such a kid. An innocent kid."
"I'll always be so for you mommy. Even when I become a granny".
She grinned naughtily and slept the most peaceful sleep, in the world's safest place.
- Her mother's arms.
PS- Love is a feeling, an emotion. Expressing it won't add anything to it, nor would not expressing it take anything from it. But, no one is going to stay with us forever. So leave no chance to tell the ones you love, how much you value them. Time waits for none, you being no exception. So love the loved as much as you can, lest you have to repent later. For even as we continue to pray for some-ONE, some others continue to care for us, ignored yet uncomplaining.
It takes just a few words, a hug, a kiss or a simple gesture to show to someone priceless, their value in your life. Love is simple and priceless. You just need to love it.
-Dedicated to the one I love the most. The person who is easiest to make happy. A hug is all that it takes. :)
By,
Labels:
love,
Stories,
teenage stuff
It's pain......
It's hard to bear
It's hard to share
When it's killing you within,
it's hard to not let it appear.
It's pain.
Lost love
or a grudge against the almighty above
Whatever be the cause,
it's hard to get rid of.
It's pain.
Tears roll down endlessly
Swelling the eyes pathetically
But all this in a locked room,
'coz the fact remains, it's yours only.
It's pain.
Words can't say
Nothing seems okay
No one's cheering would help
'coz afterall, a joke or smile won't take it away.
It's pain.
Darkness has surrounded
The door to light looks bolted
Perplexed, helpless, restless, you look around,
but life it makes, seem so halted.
It's pain.
Wrings within
Suffocates breathing
But can't let it show up goddammit!!
Lest you look a baby crying!
That's pain!
Not that nothing can be done
Not that this 'night' won't be ripped apart by the 'sun'
Not that it's gonna stay forever,
but right now, it's something you can't shun.
Yes, it's pain.
You're confused, you're hurt.
You're frustrated, with no comfort.
But alas! Life is life, 'coz this is there
To set you right, when you tend to divert.
Yes, it is really pain!!
Either bounce back or fall down forever
But this isn't the last time, forget this never
Time and again, it'll always come back,
to test, if you're a dud. Or the real winner.
Sigh.......yes yes, that's pain.
Labels:
philosophical,
poetry
hahahaha !!! :P
If you want everyone to laugh with you, laugh ON you.
Absolutely no one will mind it! :D
Says,
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
Money vs. Love...
Money can't buy you love
But love won't leave you with any money either!
Says,
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
'Beating' an opponent. Literally.
To beat an opponent in an argument, try to defeat him.
But if it doesn't work, just BEAT him!
;)
Says,
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
Stepping into others' shoes
Never ever, should one try to step into someone else's shoes. Because,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
it's not hygienic.
By,
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
Can you do it?
can do, do it.
by these morons!
thanks for reading...
DO NOT COPY! ;)
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