5 Tricks That Will Make You Funny, or Lame, or Both...

Always wanted to be the cool one in your gang? Need to develop a sense of humor to impress that girl? Find yourself boring and colorless? Yes? Do NOT follow these tips. They have been tried, tested and over-tested on poor old friends for ages now. Only Charlie Chaplin can make them look funny again. Or you could try, at your own risk.

1. Make horns on your innocent friend's head when a group photo is being clicked. HOW INNOVATIVE, NA?

2. When that ignorant little friend of yours is about to sit, pull away the chair. They'll be so amused by this uncommon prank that you will see the face turn red. Just remember that redness of the face could be a result of various feelings—embarrassment, shyness, amusement, hurt or... absolutely crazy anger.

3. Bark crap when the friend (our specimen for the whole dissection, that is) gets a call from home. So while he/she is nervously mumbling, okay mom-yes mom-no mom, you're shouting out at the top of your voice—oye, is it your girlfriend/boyfriend on the phone? Hangover not yet over, mate, why do you drink so much? Dude, your cigarrete's smoke if suffocating me! It's okay yaar, you will pass in the next exam... I hope.
Funny or not, one thing is for sure—yours might just be the next photo to be received on Bob Biswas's phone. Ahem... God save you after that.

4. When someone is telling you something serious, interrupt, "hey, look who is behind you!" Numbed and shocked when they turn around to check who it is, break out, "April fool banaya... hee-hee!"
TRUST ME, you'll be marked the king/queen of poor jokes and pranks for an eternity!

5. Alright now, your friend has committed the heinous crime of sharing with you a secret; that too a secret about who his/her latest crush is. Needless to say, you have GOT TO: hmm-hmmmmmmm each time the crush passes by, grin devilishly (and make it visible too) if the two happen to be talking or, say, exchanging notes, and most importantly, ask for a ransom (read "TREAT") everyday on the pretext, "should I tell him/her how much you like him/her!? After all I'm your only true friend!"
If your friend doesn't end up cursing the day he started thinking that you're his/her "FRIEND", I'll change my name to... umm... 'Sugandha'. Promise.

Yeah yeah, I know I'm so funny. 

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Friends forever. Lovers?

"I think I really like somebody," she yearned the other day, in a voice that was strangely innocent, but sulky.

"You, what?" he questioned in reply.

"I said, I LIKE somebody!" she said. "Is that so hard to understand?"

"Oh. Really?" he asked again, so simply.

"Look, don't mess with me," she warned, visibly irritated. "I am messed up enough already."

"You don't expect me to absorb something like this all at once, do you?" his now-irritated voice demanded. "And do you need a formal request now, to divulge more details on this?"

"Cool, don't yell at me! So I was saying..."

"That you like somebody," he interrupted again, or rather his impatience did.

"Precisely. Now if you could please shut your mouth for a while and let me speak?" she gave him one deadly look. "Oooh...!" he mocked. The usual two.

"There are a few qualities that we all look or dream for, in our special someone; don't we, Samarth?" he could notice a sweet smile light up her little face as she tried narrating her newly found feelings, all poetically. It was always a feeling so out-of-the-world for him, seeing her smile. But things were a little different right now.

"Oh hello, you've got to be quick! If you're going to swoon by the branches, dance around with the winds, sing romantic verses or do any of that ooh–lalala mellow girl-stuff, I am totally out!" With impatience at its peak, he went on, "As I'm curious, I admit."

"Alright alright," she continued, "I see all those qualities in him. I don't know him as a friend, nor is he one of those popular dogs all girls of a whole college will be after, but apparently, he is nice, as nice he ought to be, I guess. So I guess I like him."

"Aah, I knew it! I knew it that you wouldn't be able to escape my charm, like most other girls..." even as Sam pretended to smirk at the lame 'joke' he had cracked, he couldn't help looking deep in her eyes, as if hoping to read an answer his heart wanted to hear.

"Stop kidding Samarth! You've totally lost it these days," she urgh-ed.

"Lost what?"

"Your sense of humor that once used to be kinda awesome", she yelled lightly.

"Well, at least you admitted that I'm a funny man. By the way, what qualities of 'The-Him' do you like?" he asked.

"Well, he is witty, to begin with. Very witty. He writes well, expresses well, emotes well. From what I've seen, he comes across as someone sensitive, yet honest. He is into music, big time. Plays amazing guitar too, hehe... and most importantly, he is strong at grammar! You know how important that is for me, don't you. Besides, even though he is no Greek God when it comes to looks, but still, good enough to stay rooted. I won't talk of the intelligent, caring and all that stuff, 'coz I don't know him too well. So..."

All this while, Samarth, had been carefully listening to her, for though she didn't know, behind his amusement was a concern so intense, a grief so painful. He always thought he loved her, from the very core of his heart, every atom of his did. But never had he imagined he could possibly lose her. They were the best of friends, after all, closer than what two people not related by blood-connect, can be. So he had somewhere told himself, that they'd be the natural choice for each other, whenever it's time to take a stand, in future.

"So basically, I see in him the man I'd like to be with. The person I've always, not dreamed, but expected to be with!" she went on, not once caring to look at the moisture in his eyes.

"How close friends are you two? Strange I never sensed a thing. And I thought I was your best friend," the angst in Sam's voice was unavoidable this time, "And what's the problem then? If he is the 'one'?" he complained.

"Friends? Oh no! I just know him through a friend. You never sensed a thing because I never thought it could be anything more than just a crush. But then..."

"Then what?"

"I don't know WHY it hurts to know he has a girlfriend, a true couple they've been. Though perhaps, one of the reasons I began to like him was his immense love for his girl. Men who can really, whole-heartedly love one girl for such long a time, pretty rare, no?" she questioned, finally granting a look at his withered face. "Why the hell do you look so distressed, Sammy, been awake all night, huh? Checking out girls on Facebook or what?" she tried to tease him.

Do these girls really have no sense of humor, or is it just that they like hammering our wounds! She can like a random "him" who loves one girl, then why the hell can she not think the same about ME!' Samarth thought to himself. "Shut up you mean Meenal. I snored off the whole night, so keep your imagination aside. Dumbo," he lied to her, not that she seemed to know or care about it. For he had really been awake all night, thinking about her, about their friendship and more. On Facebook, hers was the only profile he checked all the time. The day Facebook actually did something to let people know of who check their profiles and how often they do, it'd  get so easy to identify your admirers and crushes. Like this dumbo might just have known that way, what she means to me,' Samarth introspected on this pointless thought. 

"So, what next?", he asked her.

"What? Nothing! Are crushes meant to be taken seriously? It'll pass..." she replied, casually shrugging her shoulders.

"I wonder what and who is it that you girls take seriously", he remarked.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Some time passed and neither of them spoke a word. Samarth thought Meenal was lost in thoughts about her Mr.X and Meenal... actually was. Till Samarth decided to get back to normalcy by acting cool. 

"By the way, how did you get to know about him?" he asked her, though he didn't want to. Being Meenal's best-friend, Samarth thought she would expect some kind of interest in the matter, from his side. "Through Facebook," she replied.

Samarth's face showed interest once again. "What?" he asked with wide eyes. "Arey, I said Facebook. He is pretty popular there, you see. Reema was a mutual friend. I've been thinking whether or not to send him a friend request. So confused," she explained very seriously, as if teaching rocket science.

FACEBOOK! HA! he felt funny about the whole thing, really funny. Is this girl not as smart as I think she is? A Facebook crush! Hahaha! Samarth recalled Meenal say to him once, "You know, you are wiser and maturer than me." Her latest crush, to him, was testimony of the same. 

"How many times have I told you not to weigh virtual life as an equal to real life, idiot?" his face finally bore the liveliness it was best known for. "I know, but, how do I help it?" she asked with a helpless expression, "am I responsible for the way I feel?" Samarth was amazed at the way he was not affected by her use of the word "feelings" for this thing anymore. She is a kid he thought.

"No you are not. I just hope that you grow up soon enough and stop taking the internet so seriously. It is so easy to be who you are not, there. So while you sit here thinking of Mr.X as a very meek and sweet guy, he might be busy eve-teasing, or say, ogling at a hot girl right now. But anyway, you are learning, you will get back to real life soon enough, I know," he spoke at length, hoping she would understand but knowing that she would not. "I don't know," she replied. "It's okay," he concluded.

Once she gets over her imaginative crushes or fantasies, and gets back to the real world, she would stop escaping the fact that she and I are more than best-friends. Silly girl... was his last, pleasant thought. A thought of reassurance, driven by the fact that he knew her better than anyone else.

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