Four stanzas of ..."Pretence"

Every damn one imbibes it within
It is, every damn one's conjoined twin
At some point of time, or all
Every damn one's resort it's been

—Pretence

I don't know what's up with this place
Everyone around seems stuck in a race
A race, to be meaner but not let that show
A race, to act good and not let others know

—Pretence

I do not crib, for the want of perfection
To live less perfect, is a right still human
Which takes from me the right to complain
But, there's one thing that brings disdain

—Pretence

To claim that it's everybody else who's mean, and not us
To claim that it's only the others who want to be selfish, and not us
To claim "I cannot ever be as bad as him/her"
Makes it immodesty, at its dishonest worst

—Pretence

READ MORE...

Two Hours

Note: This post has been written for Indiblogger's "Surf Excel Matic #GetSmart Contest". This is the first time I am participating in a blogger contest. Hope it doesn't turn out to be too bad!
*******************************************************************************************************************


It was one of those sticky situations where every single second counts more than a lifetime. At quarter past nine in the night, all that I could think of was how to pass the damned exam that was supposed to screw me the next day. More than the fact that I had wasted the whole semester lingering and loitering around, passing time, blogging, sleeping, dreaming, singing ...basically doing everything strictly unimportant, I was cursing the college administration for having given just a day's off for the subject I dreaded the most — Computer Networks. Books, notes, papers, pens lay in front of me fluttering like the wings of a restless pigeon — the simile might not make much sense, unless you pay heed only to the word "restlessness", which was making things all the more impossible then.


"If only I had attended all the classes, if only I had taken down all the class notes myself, if only I had issued the correct books from library, if only I had not believed my nerdy friends when they said there's hardly anything to study ...those liars, those pretenders, god! May they rot in hell. Now I'm here, wondering how the hell to manage a measly forty tomorrow and they'll be asleep already, dreaming about getting the highest score in class. Bloody %^&*#@!"
       The chain of "if-only's" and frustrated blames simply refused to stop growing. Albeit nothing new for me at exam time, things were getting on my nerves a bit too bad this time. This one semester had been the worst test of patience one could ever experience, with multiple projects and sadistic teachers breaking tables on the head over this and that. Computer Net works, in particular, was one subject I had little idea about: be it a month ago, or the night before the final exam.


Just then, something happened. Something scary. I yawned! You know what that means, don't you? That I'm not going to be able to stay awake anymore! I don't know about you, but my case is always the same — the entire goddamned course could be lying untouched, but the moment I sense my body senses drifting to sleep, or wanting to, I instantly begin worrying more about my sleep than about the exam. I started calculating how to pull off (at least) 6 undisturbed hours of sleep somehow, anyhow. I am yet to figure out how do I manage to be so...so...awesome in such stressful times, but then I guess I just am made like that — awesome. (next only to Barney Stinson, of course).


I blessed the wall clock with an intense glance — tenth such since the last 45 minutes. '12 A.M,' it yelled at me like a bristly project manager would, if you were stuck on a previous assignment for an eternity. Quite an irony, I thought, the situation, my condition and the...the..time. 
      After checking the time, it was now turn to check out how much of the syllabus was pending still. I started flipping pages of the book madly, till I came to the last page of the last chapter — "what a pleasure it'd have been, coming to this after having read the others," I thought. Two crazy units were left, and really crazy ones, mind you. So crazy that each bore a massive weightage for the exam and I had exactly the same amount of knowledge in each — nothing, that is. (BTW, did you know that "weightage" is only an 'Indian English' word. After Blogger showed a red line below it, I went on to check facts and then got to know there's something like 'Indian English' too.)


"It would take me two hours at max, if I were to mug up the important stuff in these two chapters. The really important ones, that is. The best part is that Yamuna (that's my friend's name, FYI) did give me an idea about the relevant topics in these most crucial crucifiers." I started giving excuses to myself. However lame they might be, excuses are definitely great stress-busters. I felt my tensions getting halved almost instantly! "Two hours, two hours, two hours," was all that echoed my head, for around a quarter of two hours. "If only the day had two more hours to it, I'd have been saved so smoothly. It's 12:35 right now. I'd have slept upto 7 in the morning" (that's a little greedy, you may say on closer look at the calculations); "studied this doublet from 7 to 9 and left for college at 10. It'd have been so wow-some! The course would have been completed to the best/worst/whatever of my capacity and the main thing, those 6 quiet hours of sleep wouldn't have been as unattainable as they are right now! What the hell do I do now. Mom says one should take adequate sleep before an exam to have an active brain the next day. So sleep is important. Oh of course it is! If only the day had two extra hours. Two hours, two hours, two hours..."
            
Before I could know what had happened to me, I was studying already. With new, revived energy-levels. I turned through pages briskly, noted down the key concepts, underlined the important things for last-minute reading, mugged up the most relevant concepts. All that took me two hours precisely. "So, my calculations weren't so wrong afterall." Proud, I packed up the whole academic mess, set the alarm, cleared my bed and instantly fell on it. Phew, I heaved a deeeeep sigh of relief and dozed off in a flash of a second. I can hardly explain how damn peaceful it was, how relaxed I was feeling. It was, what do I say, awe-mucking-some!! "I'm prepared a little, finally. Finally, I know something about CN. Yay. It'd be good. It'd be good. It won't be very bad...."


Almost as if the planet had been struck by a Zombie attack, I felt my world shake all of a sudden. The sound/noise of the alarm clock woke me up in a state of utter bewilderment. It played one of my favorite tunes — 'Rainmaker' by Yanni — but at the moment, it was no less than some badass heavy metal stuff. I stretched a bit and saw the time. '9:30 A.M,' is it only me or clocks do really shout out the time? I realized I was half an hour late according to my planned itinerary. "A little extra sleep doesn't hurt, bah." 
       Just when I was about to leave bed, I noticed my books left open, pages turning from first to the last and vice-versa  in an infinite loop 'coz of the fan. Notes lay here and there and pens, uncapped. "But I had packed all of this after completing the two chapters dammit. The two chapters that I did in those two hours. Wait, those two hours? WHICH two hours?!"


Holy mother of Jesus, the realization could hardly settle in. Where on Earth could two extra hours come from suddenly!? HELL, I was damned for the day. "So I had actually slept through a crazy random dream, while in my sub-conscience imagining myself to be studying!!!! Shit!"


Need I explain what could've happened after that? I had little time to do anything, anything apart from getting ready and leaving for college. At 10 A.M I left for my exam that was to be doomed, praying to god to save me at the cost of my previous good-doings, if any. 
I left at the stipulated time and slept for the stipulated number of hours. So the plan hadn't failed entirely afterall. Apart from the two chapters. Things would have fallen in place even for them. If only I had had two extra hours. If only....
  
*******************************************************************************************************************

P.S1: Chuck if-only's. They are merely an outcome of over-imagination. The fact is that two extra hours or not, I'd have still slept them off. But that doesn't mean I don't want or need them. Saying that would be like belittling the importance of sleep — which, I believe, is the more important than laughter. If laughter is the best medicine, sleep is what keeps at bay the need to take medicine! :D
P.S2: The post was a work of fiction. Apart from the fact that I hate the subject CN, whose exam I take this very month. :P
So if the day had two extra hours, this is how I would spend them. What about you? Would love to know through the comments below. 

READ MORE...