The author of this blog stopped writing here long time back. The posts published here embarrass her now. And hence, there is very little chance that she is going to write here again.

This blog is hence declared to be in a state of COMA.

Things To Do On Valentine's Day: Tips for the single souls

Are you single? No, don't flatter yourself thinking it's a cheesy question from me. It's for you to answer to yourself. Are you single this Valentine's Day? Yeah? Alright, this post is for you. Just in case you've been wondering what will I do on the 14th of Feb... sob sob! these tips might help you.
So, how can you spend the most-dreaded day (for singles) without cursing yourself for it? These are my suggestions:

1. Get proposed with gifts and chocolates and everything called "romantic" in front of your friends. Mysteriously: Not as crazy as it sounds. You're in college with your friends, listening to their woes and nodding at the fact that Valentine's Day is just bullshit (for obvious reasons) and suddenly somebody comes in—carrying a bouquet full of flowers, loads of exotic chocolates and a pretty card with lots of hearts here and there, hands it all to an astonished you and says in the softest tone possible... somebody has sent this for you. Alright, the guy isn't anyone but, so what! You just rendered your friends to the highest levels of envy! They'll be burning inside seeing the lovelies you have just received! So what if they were ordered by, ahem, you only. Who's gonna find out how lucky, (or crazy), you are!

Don't forget to write on the card: will you be my Valentine? —Anonymous. "Anonymous"—now THAT is important. Because a) You don't want this to be discussed ever again, lest they start finding loopholes in your plan and b) It's the safest bet, for both guys and girls, I say. Enjoy.

2. Sit at home and do... nothing: Boring? Reading a post that promises tips on how to spend the Valentine's Day, d'you think YOU really can call something boring? And sitting at home is not as uninteresting as it sounds. In fact it's... normal, just your regular stuff. Just lock yourself up in your room, tell your family that you'll be working on a very important project all day so DND. No access to any newspapers, nor to the internet and you won't even remember what day it is. Okay, that might be a little 'difficult'. Curse me not, for difficult is this post.

3. Facebook!!!!!: Why lose hope when Facebook is there! Your partner for years, a true soul-mate, it won't disappoint you this time too, for sure. If there is one website that can never exhaust of the options of things-to-do, this, it is. This!
  • Send out a bazillion friend-requests. Who knows, you might get your Valentine for the next year.
  • Browse through girls' pictures. "Like" them (even if you don't) and post comments like, "you look so sweet:)" (even if she is looking like a disaster and her smile isn't worth a single penny). Deja vu moment, guys?
  • Post philosophical status-updates talking about the love, which you do have. What is it? Aye, parents! You may or may not remember them on another day but on the Forever Alone Day they suddenly look like the most beautiful people you've been gifted with, no? Put up a status like: 'This love is superficial, friends. True love is the love you get from parents. Grow up!!!' (... ahan? You really think it's them who need to grow up, mister/miss pretentious? :P)
  • The funny status updates never fail. You could post, "gotta accept one of the million pending proposals, man. :D" and you'll emerge a winner. Because a) both you and the readers know you're kidding b) both you and the readers know what the truth is.
    But at least, you get away with it... umm.. wittily!
4. Like all of 9Gag's "Forever Alone" pictures: Come on, you just find them a lot funny. Nothing personal. No no, no one will think it's your story. I hope.

5. Write a love story: Or a post to help others like you—or no, leave that out, only writers and bloggers can do that. In stead spend your time reading some of them. Ah, such a good option. Consider these posts by me. They became pretty popular when I wrote them. Although the stories, if you ask me, embarass me now. But they're on "love" nevertheless, might suit your taste. :P
6. Join the Shiv Sena: If none of the above works for you, this surely will. Being a Shiv Sainik gives you the official, unquestionable right to vent out your frustration at being single on those who aren't. Go about smashing windows, or maybe people's heads because they happen to have a date. In return you get a hundred reasons to state—why Valentine's Day is a crime according to our culture—and also that this is why you oppose it. (Yeah, whatever)

So, that was it. Five simple tips on how to spend the 14th of February differently. It's okay, it's okay, you don't have to thank me, haha. It is my responsibility to think in the benefit of my readers, come on, goodness comes to me naturally. :)
   Just make sure you've clicked on the like button (which was dysfunctional for SO long, till only today:-/) of this post. Why? Well, because this Valentine's I'll be sitting in front of my PC counting my blog's statistics. To each, his own! :P


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