The author of this blog stopped writing here long time back. The posts published here embarrass her now. And hence, there is very little chance that she is going to write here again.

This blog is hence declared to be in a state of COMA.

Year 2012 → 20 Resolutions That Should Be; 12 Resolutions That Shouldn't!

First up, let me tell you, I am not the kind who makes and breaks resolutions every year. Not at all! Instead, I make and break resolutions every day. Err...yeah.Which is why, I do not waste the last day of the past year or the first day of the new year in listing down things that I ought to be doing in the new year. I either do them, or I don't. Needless to say, it's the latter, more often than not. 
So here they are, 20 resolutions that should be:
  1. I will study. On days other than those just before an exam.
  2. When someone waiting for me somewhere calls up to ask where the hell I am, I'll say the truth.
  3. I will not sit in front of the computer 24x7. Sometimes, I'll stand too.
  4. I will not blame Engineering for my uselessness. I will blame it for every-damn-thing wrong with life.
  5. I will be good even to those who I don't like. Means, I'll punch them a little less harder.
  6. I will reject friend-requests from strangers. Without looking at their profiles.
  7. When someone asks me, "how are you?" and I know they are doing it just for the sake of it, I'll be truthful. Which means, I'll bombard them with stories of how I really have been and how worse people like them make it for me!
  8. I will get everyone who uses "Dear" while addressing any and every girl shot right in their head. To stick to the principles of humanity, I won't say after that, "they deserved it". 
  9. While on chat if the other person uses a word that I don't know, I will simply ask them what it means. Instead of doing this: open new tab  Google → "what is the meaning of..." → click best result & understand meaning → Back on chat → "Oh yes, I know what you mean. M-hmm."
  10. If someone says something that I don't like, I'll ask them to shut up right there. Instead of imagining later on, things that could have been said.
  11. I will learn to forgive and forget... my mistakes. Nothing more, nothing less.
  12. While driving on the roads, I will not look down upon female drivers with disgust. I shall remember that I am one of them too.
  13. I will take better care of my loved ones. Loved ones—other than myself.
  14. I will read the newspaper daily—the main paper more seriously than the supplement.
  15. I won't simply criticize the system, instead, I'll do something about it. Do what? Criticize. 
  16. I will not keep a tab of the number of people who subscribe to me on Facebook and also not rejoice at every new subscription.(What-the-hell-ever... 58 already, I am famous!)
  17. I will not judge people by their: looks, grammar, college, talent and sense of humor. Doesn't mean I'll not dislike the ones who don't have any of it.
  18. I will start reading more blogs. Other than my own.
  19. I will not sadden myself thinking how I could've been taller, slimmer, prettier. Instead I'll look at the ones who're shorter, fatter and uglier and... laugh at them. Jokers, haha!
  20. I will become a better person, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better student, a better human and... a better liar.
I hope you know all that doesn't have to be taken seriously. Actually, all this must be stuck-with forever and ever!
Going on with the nonsensical stuff, here are 12  resolutions that should not be
  1. If someone hurts me real bad, I will let them go without a punch in the eye.
  2. I will envy the ones who are better than me anywhere, instead of learning from them and getting inspired. (Yes I know, philosophical shit.)
  3. I will reach college on time. Early enough to be able to attend the first class. <faints>
  4. I will learn to value time... by getting a costlier watch.
  5. I will be more sympathetic towards the baby called 'Justin Beiber'. Why? Because he's a kid afterall. (A kid who romances long-legged lasses. WTH, let's just beat the shit out of him!!)
  6. I will not hate guys whose sense of humor thrives solely upon a)flirting b)puns with double-(not so innocent)-meanings. (This exercise will teach me how to ace the impossible. Humph!)
  7. I will not call guys who make hearts on Facebook and elsewhere GAYS. The same holds true for girls. (Just replace 'gays' by 'girly'. Sexist, I know!)
  8. I will respect people who say "I didn't knew". (<omg>)
  9. I will stop looking for 'ways to generate money from blogging' in the name of 'writing for fun'.
  10. I will begin to dislike Ranbir Kapoor just because he is a playboy in real life. (Uh-huh whatever.)
  11. In a situation where I have to be witty, I will go with the wittiest answer (actually a question) of 2011—Why this Kolaveri Di? 
  12. I will not look down upon girls (and boys) who can't stop posting pictures of themselves in various poses; especially when I know, I have had my share of self-obsession too.
    What the hell, it wasn't SO bad. Eww.
So, that was it! The "should be" and "should not be" bucket-lists I prescribe for us all, for the year 2012. Funny enough, I hope?

Resolutions, or no resolutions, here's wishing you all a DAMN 
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Just hope that we don't die. And welcome the new year with just one resolution in mind: I WILL STAY HAPPY :)

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Pratik,  December 31, 2011 at 4:13 PM  

20 things:
8 - Haha, good one!
9 - You know you could just use 'define: word' in the address bar and press enter.
12 - Spot on! Female drivers are actively or passively involved in 90 percent accidents!
18 - Please.
19 - LMAO.

12 things:
3 - Best f luck!
5 - The parentheses part is awesome.
6 and 7 - TOO FUNNY!

Sugandha December 31, 2011 at 6:13 PM  

@Pratik: Thanks for the comment! I like the way you specify your response to particular points everytime.
And am so glad that the humor worked. And the define:word thing doesn't work for me. But yeah,that's no excuse for not knowing it. :P

And HEY. 12) is no spot on. I am one of them too. Just that I would be really able to know if I am like the ones who irritate me if I saw myself driving. But that's not possible. So yes, I rock. :P

Giribala December 31, 2011 at 8:30 PM  

Interesting! Best wishes :D

Sugandha December 31, 2011 at 11:01 PM  

Thanks ma'am! Best wishes to you as well. :)

Ms. Capricious January 6, 2012 at 1:41 PM  

I forgot the number of times I smiled :P and this was the best resolution list I ever came across :D There were many instances when I nodded my head ( smile still being there), but of all, the lady drivers( of which I am one who hates how they drive , lets not get into how they look, okay ?:P)made me smile widest :D

Sugandha January 6, 2012 at 6:41 PM  

Ms. Capricious,
Welcome here! :D
And I'm glad that my post could make you smile, that too, multiple times. Thank you so much!:)
And, lady drivers? Okay, let's just let it be. :P

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