Year 2012 → 20 Resolutions That Should Be; 12 Resolutions That Shouldn't!

First up, let me tell you, I am not the kind who makes and breaks resolutions every year. Not at all! Instead, I make and break resolutions every day. Err...yeah.Which is why, I do not waste the last day of the past year or the first day of the new year in listing down things that I ought to be doing in the new year. I either do them, or I don't. Needless to say, it's the latter, more often than not. 

So here they are, 20 resolutions that should be:

1. I will study. On days other than those just before an exam.
2. When someone waiting for me somewhere calls up to ask where the hell I am, I'll say the truth.
3. I will not sit in front of the computer 24x7. Sometimes, I'll stand too.
4. I will not blame Engineering for my uselessness. I will blame it for every-damn-thing wrong with life.
5. I will be good even to those who I don't like. Means, I'll punch them a little less harder.
6. I will reject friend-requests from strangers. Without looking at their profiles.
7. When someone asks me, "how are you?" and I know they are doing it just for the sake of it, I'll be truthful. Which means, I'll bombard them with stories of how I really have been and how worse people like them make it for me!
8. I will get everyone who uses "Dear" while addressing any and every girl shot right in their head. To stick to the principles of humanity, I won't say after that, "they deserved it". 
9. While on chat if the other person uses a word that I don't know, I will simply ask them what it means. Instead of doing this: open new tab → Google → "what is the meaning of..." → click best result & understand meaning → Back on chat → "Oh yes, I know what you mean. M-hmm."
10. If someone says something that I don't like, I'll ask them to shut up right there. Instead of imagining later on, things that could have been said.
11. I will learn to forgive and forget... my mistakes. Nothing more, nothing less.
12. While driving on the roads, I will not look down upon female drivers with disgust. I shall remember that I am one of them too.
13. I will take better care of my loved ones. Loved ones—other than myself.
14. I will read the newspaper daily—the main paper more seriously than the supplement.
15. I won't simply criticize the system, instead, I'll do something about it. Do what? Criticize. 
16. I will not keep a tab of the number of people who subscribe to me on Facebook and also not rejoice at every new subscription.(What-the-hell-ever... 58 already, I am famous!)
17. I will not judge people by their: looks, grammar, college, talent and sense of humor. Doesn't mean I'll not dislike the ones who don't have any of it.
18. I will start reading more blogs. Other than my own.
19. I will not sadden myself thinking how I could've been taller, slimmer, prettier. Instead I'll look at the ones who're shorter, fatter and uglier and... laugh at them. Jokers, haha!
20. I will become a better person, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better student, a better human and... a better liar.

I hope you know all that doesn't have to be taken seriously. Actually, all this must be stuck-with forever and ever!

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Going on with the nonsensical stuff, here are 12  resolutions that should not be: 

1. If someone hurts me real bad, I will let them go without a punch in the eye.
2. I will envy the ones who are better than me anywhere, instead of learning from them and getting inspired. (Yes I know, philosophical shit.)
3. I will reach college on time. Early enough to be able to attend the first class. <faints>
4. I will learn to value time... by getting a costlier watch.
5. I will be more sympathetic towards the baby called 'Justin Beiber'. Why? Because he's a kid afterall. (A kid who romances long-legged lasses. WTH, let's just beat the shit out of him!!)
6. I will not hate guys whose sense of humor thrives solely upon a)flirting b)puns with double-(not so innocent)-meanings. (This exercise will teach me how to ace the impossible. Humph!)
7. I will not call guys who make hearts on Facebook and elsewhere GAYS. The same holds true for girls. (Just replace 'gays' by 'girly'. Sexist, I know!)
8. I will respect people who say "I didn't knew". (<omg>)
9. I will stop looking for 'ways to generate money from blogging' in the name of 'writing for fun'.
10. I will begin to dislike Ranbir Kapoor just because he is a playboy in real life. (Uh-huh whatever.)
11. In a situation where I have to be witty, I will go with the wittiest answer (actually a question) of 2011—Why this Kolaveri Di? 
12. I will not look down upon girls (and boys) who can't stop posting pictures of themselves in various poses; especially when I know, I have had my share of self-obsession too.
    What the hell, it wasn't SO bad. Eww.

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So, that was it! The "should be" and "should not be" bucket-lists I prescribe for us all, for the year 2012. Funny enough, I hope?

Resolutions, or no resolutions, here's wishing you all a DAMN 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Just hope that we don't die. And welcome the new year with just one resolution in mind: I WILL STAY HAPPY :)