Some irking/amusing things about guys...

As promised last, here's the post on some things about guys that 'we' find irking/amusing. 'We' doesn't necessarily have to mean ALL girls obviously, but yes, I have tried to make it as general as possible, from common hearsay. Honestly, i should say, the views expressed here are NOT ENTIRELY OF THE AUTHOR.


No wasting time now, you need to click on the 'points' or titles below one by one to check out the page it is referring to....and to know what ALL I mean to say under that particular title. ;)


(A very long post)

1. Jahan teri ye nazar hai, mujhe khabar hai...

The title translates to— I very well know where your eyes are, mister smarty pants.

Who wrote this song? Must've been a girl. This line, refers to all you guys. Not getting what it means? Or why it means what it means? awww...so innocent, huh? 

Be it in the bus, on the bus stand, in college, in a market, in a shop or anywhere else for that matter, there's not a single moment, not a single male eye that a decent looking girl/lady can escape. I guess, NOW you should be able to comprehend what I've been hinting at, all this while.

So you know how serious I was when I said- ALL MEN

I'd be surprised if any of my female readers disagree, though in case you do, feel free to let me know so. But it's something that not just I, but even my gal–pals have confessed, that if somehow eliminated, our daily lives would become, a bit more than just 'tad', easier. You see, attention is good, everyone likes it– boys or girls, of course only when it's for the right reasons, in the right situation and with an intention that's not inappropriate. Believe me guys, there's absolutely nothing fascinating about sensing an eye, or rather– many an eye, running over you from anywhere to everywhere. That too in the weirdest, most embarrassing manner and while the lady-in-distress wants anything but attention of this kind! 

No matter how ordinarily you she is sitting/standing/yawning, how simply she is are dressed or look, a girl surrounded by one or more men, cannot survive this humiliation. Mostly.

I only wish such men could experience this 'there are eyes on me' feeling hands-on. Or wait, can we make you experience this? Maybe by doing something like staring back, really strongly? Or whistling while they pass by? Or humming weird songs as they mark their presence in our vicinity?

No, we can't. 'Coz for them, funnily enough, it'd only add to the amusement.

How do I know all this? 'Coz I'm a girl too. 

It's sad that even though any and every girl can sense what's going on in the dirty head of a guy standing nearby, she really can't show it. Ours is a society where being stared at is the least that have to face everyday. So they gradually learn to ignore/accept as many of such humiliations, as possible, knowing that it isn't something that they can escape. 

Hence, even though she must be knowing what you and your imagination are upto, yet she won't, in the highest probability, react it is absolutely inevitable. To get an illustration of how their/our 6th sense works, try this— the next time a fine girl passes by, try-'n'-resist looking at her. Instead watch the eyes of the people (read- 'guys') around. If my observations so far are correct and there's nothing unusual about the situation, you should be able to see all fine ''gentlemen'' almost dropping the girl to her destination, with their eyes. In simpler words, their eyes follow her, for as long as possible, till the poor creature finally goes out of view.

What do you think?

2. All Your %^&*#$@#$^&s.................. :P

Now this shouldn't need an explanation, I am quite obviously referring to the usage of slang. Before you jump to the comments-section to claim that,"HEY! I don't use it!" lemme mention this as a pre-script itself that this will invariably vary from person to person. Like, it's not necessary that every guy uses it(though more often than not, its true that they do..VERY CASUALLY), its also not necessary that every girl will not be using it, its also not necessary that only girls hate this habit(like me B-)) or that no boy not hates it or.....er...i got lost...whatever!

Personally, i have always disliked(read - hated) the use of slang but the place that i live in....my beloved city in my beloved country, would have never let my ears stay away from the "pious" modification of language that has takenroots with time here, there and everywhere. Having studied in a girls school, its not that i din get to hear abusive words there, its true, even many girls use these words. These were the seniors, when i was a kid and some of my fellowmates, in the growing up years. But yeah none of the heavy swear words. Those i got to hear from here n there, on the streets of this city, buses e.t.c. I was amused on hearing this young fellow step out of his home-turned-temple and throw a heavy (heavy atleast for me:P) Hindi swear word  to call over his friend, very casually. Please do not think that am trying to project myself as an innocent girl or whatsoever (since i don't need to ''try to project that'' ;);) ), just expressing that i have a thing against it. No big deal, many people do.

Now, though girls might also be using it, undoubtedly, they can't beat the boys at it. I mean, i am SO amazed at the irrelevance, needlessness and uselessness of these, in particular, Hindi swear words, when boys use it. Like for instance, i step out of the canteen, so does another guy...least relevant....then this guy sees his friend walking ahead and he wants to call him..so how does he do that? ...by SHOUTING out loud ..."abey oye #%#$% ....^$%#%%......@@#$@#%......kahan ja rha hai, idhar aa!!"...when it could have better been,"oye ABC kahan ja rha hai?" But no, this way isn't that ''cool'' afterall, not macho enough, isnt it? And whoever is listening along with the much needed ''friend'' in this situation, is of no consequence to the speaker! 

That was just an instance. Hope i don't seem to be exaggerating it, coz i don't intend to. Just trying to present a little, yeah not of all that significance, situation in as light a manner as possible.

But only one thing, it would be a tad bit better if you people use such words amongst yourself only, not atleast openly in front of people, specially girls, who might not like it. That's it. :)


But it seems slang is your way of expressing your ''love'' for your friends/fellows. But you'd use the same if you got into a duel, isn't it? So....what is it??..... Now that is hard to understand for me, so better leave it. :P

 

3. All WANNABE Don Bradmans and Tendulkars

This really amuses me. Specifically talking of the Indian scenario, i needn't mention how big a craze Cricket is, here. No doubt, majority of the cricketfanatics are guys and i admit, i am not one among the small fraction of female Cricket fans and i do not have any qualms in admitting that. 


I remember, my brother wasn't really interested in Cricket as a kid(soon am gonna tell how the word 'kid' is probably the most offensive word in the dictionary of boys, even if they really are kids!) It used to be funny. Dad was pretty much into watching cricket and his son would have undoubtedly been the best accomplice for the same. But here my bro was, giving nothing more than a yawn to it. Dad would say jokingly, it's such a craze among boys here and you are least interested! Ha ha....i wonder if a passion for playing/watching cricket would in future be meted as the true 'test' for MANhood in our country. (:P) Soon the situation with my bro took a reversal. Probably he too sensed that all his pals were big time into watching cricket. All of a sudden he got interested in watching cricket matches. Dad was all :) :) :) coz he got his teammate (and we, two people to fight against, for T.V ... :D). Soon ''My Brother Nikhil'' (a movie name, in case you don't know) was seen striving to absorb the game and its tactics as much as possible. He even got to playing it. Playing more. And more. And a little more and soon enough, he had become a part of the bandwagon of silly Indian boys who are passionate about cricket AS IF simply they HAVE TO BE SO, as if its a compulsion, atleast so it seems. :D


I bet, around 99% of the parks, grounds and streets of India are all time busy with gangs of boys burning it out in the scorching sun, religiously and meticulously playing their game of bat and ball. A day off from work/school/college means they have to spend it all in the sun doing their 'practice'. I wonder how many of them can ACTUALLY play good cricket. But no, it doesn't affect them. They wanna keep playing to get better, all of them are their respective society/colony/park/street 's Cricket hero in their ownsense.

Trust me, dunno if it is really irking or rather amusing, the way you guys go mad about cricket. But its amazing, how can such a major part of your population be crazy for the same sport! Not all of you can play it ofcourse...but whatever it is, carry on with your craze.... we enjoy your silliness/stupidity B-) B-)

4. Am not a kid. LOL!

This fact applies to the young boys, those in their growing age/teens. And i find it rather funny.
As mentioned earlier, don't you ever dare to call a boy a KID! coz ''kid'', ''child'', ''little"and the likes, these words are probably forbidden in every boys'dictionary of adjectives. I guess the day a boy takes birth, he gets transformed into a mature man.(:P) Why else do you think would even a 5-6 year old boy retort frustratingly,"HEY AM NOT A KID!" if you dared to say about him ,"oh such a cute kid!".
Perhaps, right from the day they are born, they develop biceps that they proudly flaunt{"hey look, i got these great muscles!"}, even if to others, they look more like pencils. It's funny, isn't it!

They don't like it if someone tries to take care of them, even if its their parents, they say,"MOM MAI BACHCHA NAHI HUN!" Don't give theminstructions of any kind! Even if you are giving them a task that they don't really know how to do, still if you try telling them how to do it, they will most probably retort,"MUJHE MAT SAMJHAO, MAI BACHCHA NHI HUN!" Walking on the road with me is against my brother's pride! why? coz am his elder sister and he feels as if i am there with him to protect him, take care of my lil brother. Which is like, against his pride! 
Pride and ego, for NO REASON whatsoever are two(er...or are they the same? :P) traits that boys probably begin to develop since the day of their existence. Wait, why waste this fact, lemme use it as the 5th point :D

5. 'Pride' and 'prejudice'

PRIDE (read– 'ego')- which guys posses so dearly.

PREJUDICE (read- 'stereotypes') -which them always seem to have for girls, infinitely.

Though both are stupid, the latter is still more of it. 

Or maybe, they are interconnected –one germinating from the other.

Talking of ''prejudice'' or stereotyping, some very general and common notions about girls that most boys seem to have grown up with– girls aren't much interested in cricket, they can'tplay cricket, they lack interest/knowledge of techie/gadget-y stuff, gossiping is all of their favorite pastime, all that they can do easily and really well is make-up, they are the biggest nerds of their class who are best at brainless rote learning and what not! Infact, while I was listing these, I realized how many stereptypes guys have actually created for us girls to break!

And now comes the ''pride'' part. This part makes a solid entry whenever a girl tries to, or is successful in, breaking these so-called stereotypes/general notions. Think over it. 'Coz this is when, the guy realizes that he went wrong– something that is unacceptable to him! And the idea of a girl leveling a guy, particularly in a male-centric field is a big no! But yes, agreed, these notions are also a bit outdated, so don't fight over this. I am just saying, that such notions are now getting weaker and weaker BUT somewhere they are still there, maybe in the society or maybe inyour mind, in a corner.

Talking about these 'stereotypes', it's not that these are absolutely untrue, many of these hold for me, but its irritating when you tend to presume so for every other girl. And this I realized, when a guy asked me,''you have any technical know-how?" and I, as always, very shamelessly answered in the negative. (Well, at least I have no qualms in admitting my ignorance, if it is there, so it is!) But next what I got to hear/read from him was- "yeah, all that you girls can do well ismake-up" And THAT was when I got all geared up, to thrash him, with words ofcourse and asked him to repeat his words. He did and I started in full swing then-on. "Excuse me, who the hell said so? I don't have much technical know-how so no girl does? And some girls are much into this make-up thing so even I am? Even though I haven't been one bit into such stuff!? grow up!", and from there, I went on. Sigh.

The fact is actually irritating, not at all funny. Besides, he isn't the only one to think so, for sure. Many of you do. Further on this note, you should read the end of this post, on the main page. That is where I complete the formality of adding a clause like,"oh i didn't mean to hurt anyone, it was all said on generic terms, in good humor, please don't take it seriously".. blah blah.

Now, I know I too might be sounding ''stereotypical'' for guys after all these points. But if you think over it, you should be able to realize that the outlines on which these have been written are rather correct, only an attempt has been made to add a touch of lightheartedness to this HUGE post. So a tad bit (or maybe more) of exaggeration should be forgivable :) 


So just chill, i kinda HAD to do the post since i promised it, hence i did it, to the best of my ability.  Tried my best to make it as lil boring as possible, since it was too long, though i'd be happily surprised if you read it all at once.


Expected reward from you- comments/ words to express your opinion. :)


and the EPILOGUE of all this?....whatever it is, no matter how much we tell you, you guys are never gonna change, for sure, so carry on with your silly deeds and we'll keep wondering, "KAISE SE HOTE HAIN YE LOG!!!!!!!!"


Signing off,
Sugandha ( PHEW! finally its over :D)