Diary entry of a troubled hot girl

Dear Diary...

No, no, what's happening to me ...dear, YOU!? WHATEVER!! I still can't believe, of all people in this world, I have to share my distress with a stupid, dumb, non-living, non-hot piece of material called a...a...a DAIRY! I mean, here I am- not talking, not gossiping, not bitching about other hot girls. But rather, WRITING! :O 

Ha, such is life. And there used to be days when guys would be ever-ready to wipe off the floor for me to walk on. Oh my my....I can't control my tears already! And you, you mean mean diary, you aren't even patronizing! So meeeen! I hate you! :'(

Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I think I should control mAself or else who knows, you too might dump me. I mean, dude! What could be more embarrassing than that! So okay, let's try and be good friends for now, I have no other option. (Oh man, like, seriously!)

So, Mr.Diary (please allow me to assume that you're a male, brings some relief), some strange things have been happening lately. Very very strange. Infact, I think I now know why people have been crooning about a supposed end of the world. With so much ab-normalcy around, I think this is how the planet we live on, Planet Mars, will lose its existence extremely soon. Real soon. In one line, my theory of the end of the world is:

"The world shall come to an end when men will lose their (little) sanity so much so that they'll start falling for geeky, boring, book-wormy girls and ignoring the hotter ones."

NOW, considering the good old theory of "men are dogs", does that even seem possible? Men not swarming around hotties like me, but rather drooling over girls with oiled hair, big specs, weird dressing styles and steel smiles (you must've heard of plastic smiles that girls like me are so obsessed with, but STEEL SMILE, what? Well, I'm talking about those bloody disgusting Braces!). All of that translates to- men finally learning the importance of character over looks, simplicity over skimpy clothes- you know, all of that inner/outer beauty crap! Does that sound real/human/possible? Hell NO!

Or so I thought! Till this goddamned piece of writing started doing the rounds. One article, it took just one stupid article for the life(styles) of so many innocent, sweet, hot girls like me to get ruined!


It was a nice Monday morning, new week, new day, new people to check out, I thought. It took me 4 hours to get ready, concealing a dozen pimples (on each half of the face) is afterall such a daunting task! And then, not bathing is no child's play either, 'coz of the tens and hundreds of perfume bottles you've got to carefully select and then drench yourself in. Plus the dress selection part, gosh! So that way, I finally got ready to leave for college, hoping to be ogled at by guys there and envied by the girls, like always! B)


But what I saw had me almost fainted. Phoolkumari, the ugliest girl of my class, also a shitty all-time topper, was hanging around with the best guy of our college, (FB name) KoolDoodAdi! Hands in hands, walking around in a total filmy style, the two of them had been making headlines since morning, I later got to know. I was so shattered. He was one guy I could never impress and that chick with her oiled plaits, (em)braced teeth, thick-framed-specs and potbelly figure had been proposed by him!!! Not just that, I was told by my assistant (FB name) SweetPinkyAngel that not just Adi but almost every sensible guy of college was after Phoolkumari!!


It was not before I got home that I found what was behind this disaster. And it was, FACEBOOK! The one site that always comes in handy to over-estimate myself, with all the desperate friend requests pouring in like anything, had this time created a new revolution! Everywhere one could see guys liking and sharing this FB note called "date a girl who reads". Written by some GeeKika Sapra, the article had crossed all records of being "liked", with a blasting number of 5000 likes and shares! And guess what, most of them were guys! I so envied the writer on seeing that she got a thousand proposals then and there! 'Coz of a line that read "or better still, date a girl who writes". "Who can be better than the writer of this very article", commented a certain Gautam. Hot guy :(


I read what was that crap about. Oh god!! that stupid, dumb girl had wreaked total havoc! Just because SHE doesn't know the blissful art of make-up, just because SHE does not have the money and/or brains to select a trillion useless clothes that rot in the closet for decades together, just because SHE spends all her pocket money buying second hand books and novels, just because SHE can be seen reading novels at 2 in the night (what, huh?), just because HER (cheap) bag is always carrying a dumb, torn off novel and no lip-glosses, lip-sticks, lip-balms, eye-liners, nail-paints, combs, hairbrushes, perfumes, deodorants, lip-liners, kohl, mascara and all such YUMMILICIOUS GORGEOUS stuff on earth ( <3 <3 awwwieee! I'm already in love with all of these :* :*!), she had condemned all lucky girls like me, who CAN do all of this! Who have it in their blood! And worse, people had ACTUALLY paid so much heed to her shit! Damnnnnn! x-(


And the situation now is that, I have no takers, in very simple words. Desperate, I went up to a guy myself, hoping to be atleast glanced at properly, else the hours of dressing up would simply go waste. But what did I get to hear from him? Here it is:

"Stop fooling around, chick, we guys have finally gained sense and have realized what kind of girls actually deserve us.Your bare legs, loud make-up, giggly gestures, fake accents, colored hair and scary made-up looks can no more win us. Gone are the days when we'd spend all our pocket-money or salaries on bimbettes like you, GeeKika has shown us enough sense with her godly write-up. So if you really want to be noticed, empty your hand bag of all that girly stuff and keep in it a novel, a classy novel. Remember, it must be there all the time, or else we'd consider it invalid! Empty your closet, throw away as many clothes as possible so they don't overflow, 'coz that indicates the dumbness of a girl, as GeeKika says. Also on a date, don't expect to be shown a movie at an expensive theater, though, if willing to go to the Library, you may have one of us ready for company. Otherwise, bye bye! 

Now if you could please, I've got to go. My dream-girl Chameli has finally decided to take some time out of her busy novel-reading schedule today. We're going to buy lots of novels from Nayi Sadak, Delhi. My dream-date, yippee, am so excited! Oh Chameli, here I come!"

and he went off, leaving me alone. I was there standing, gazing at myself. Years of hard-work at the gym, all my pocket-money spent on clothes, cosmetics and everything else, the tough dieting phases a.k.a starving, the lost grades and being called stupid by teachers and geeky classmates...what had all of this amounted to? Being treated like this!? 

Who did we start dressing up and doing all that make-up for, in our early teens- the guys, isn't it? Who spoiled us with gifts and shopping in the first place- the desperate guys, isn't it? Who always expected us to look enviable and beautiful all the time- the guys, isn't it? Then why on Earth are they now changing their expectations? 

Why?

WHy?

WHY????

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Note: This is a fictional piece of writing, all characters included. Kindly do not try to relate the 'hot girl' with the writer or anyone else, that would be really DUH on your part! (:P)

@female readers who read novels: I'm sure you're smart enough to know what's meant to be taken seriously and what not. I know you won't take offence ;)
@male readers: in thy face! :P 

CHEERIOS!

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